Thank You For Being A Friend

I have had since last Sunday to gather my thoughts and try to find a way to say thank you to all the people who co-ordinated, performed and showed up to the benefit held in my honor in Second Life. Words have really escaped me.

I really do no feel there are enough words in the English language to express how truly honored I feel at this show of love, thoughtfulness, kindness and generosity.

I was very hesitant to allow Seth and Ayesha plan a benefit in my honor. Seth said to me "Brandy, you have so many friends in SL that would love to bring you a casserole, take you to lunch, take the kids for a night to give you some time to feel better or any number of things they could do if we all lived closer. Being so far apart, this is the only way they could do anything for you, so let them help you the only way they can."

So I agreed and they commenced with planning. Five hours of live music and so many people showing up. I was so overwhelmed with the love and friendship. I was so speechless and in tears.

I don't really have any family here that can help me and my closest friends work multiple jobs and just cannot be available. So you all, my Second Life family and friends, many of you I have not even met face to face, Last Sunday, you brought casseroles, cookies, a pot roast, gas cards, etc and said here, let me help you. I am even getting all weepy (in a happy way) thinking about it still.

Thank you Seth and Ayesha for putting the event together. Thank you to Max, Tamra, Beamer, Joel and Seth for performing. Thanks to Noma who was supposed to perform but due to health issues could not. Thank you to everyone who showed up and donated or even just showed their love and support by being there and those who couldn't come to the benefit but showed their support in other ways.

You are all amazing people behind your avatars. I would like to dedicate this song to you. This is Seth's original song and he often dedicates it to me during his shows because it is about friendship and we are the best of friends. Now I give this song to you all because you have shown such great friendship in a time now when I need it and showed up "with a symphony" and casserole :)

Bumps In The Road

I would never want to be the type of person who just gets handed things because of affluent parents.

My brother and I were raised by my grandparents since we were very little. My grandfather was a mechanic

Mine was grey but this is a '77 Sunbird.

and my grandmother was a homemaker. We were not rich at all. Most times we were on a very tight budget. Every weekend I remember going to yard sales and flea markets with them. We would take trips to Missouri  now and then to visit my grandfather's family. I never, and still have not, been to Disneyland. I didn't get a new car when I was 16. I got a 1977 Pontiac Sunbird that wasn't shiny but reliably and safely got me around. I worked and paid for my own gas and part of the car. I wouldn't go back and change a thing.

I've been through a lot in my life. Some major ups and downs... struggles and joys. I've had to work and fight for everything and often I think I should write a book about it all. I don't want to go into details now about it all but my close friends know some of it. Maybe someday I will write a book, who knows. However, now I am 38 ...39 is closing in fast... and I have cancer.

The big C ... I was surprised to say the least. However, I don't feel like I am going to die. I have no dread, no sadness, no fear. I just cannot wait to start feeling better. For the past little over a year I have been feeling fatigued after only a little activity, muscle weakness and aches, occasionally I have been overly emotional and sometimes unable to focus on tasks due to severe anemia the cancer was causing. It is uterine cancer and was causing irregular monthly cycles. Not too bad at first, an extra cycle here and there that I blew off as stress related. Then it got worse and I would only go a few days to a week between cycles. That is when the doctors had me start with tests and I was diagnosed. Even from the diagnosis date, I was only relieved to know what was wrong and that it could be treated.

Two and a half weeks ago I had a complete hysterectomy. It was done with the DaVinci Robot and my healing as been very quick. I wonder if the doctor makes "pew, pew, pew" noises when doing the surgery with the robot. "Commander, we have the Death Uterus in our sites, permission to fire lasers" Pew Pew Pew! I have been up and about since the night of surgery and while I was moving slower and was sore around the middle, I felt good.

Since surgery I was informed that they staged the cancer at a 3 and I will need chemo and then radiation. The doctor said I would lose my hair. So I cut 10 inches off to donate. Chemo will be starting in about 3 weeks once I am completely healed from surgery. I will totally rock a blue or pink wig!

People have messaged me to say how my positive attitude is inspiring but this is just me really. I've fought my way through my life, so really there is no other way I know how to be. I wish I could explain how to take a bad situation and look at the positive side and not be constantly depressed. If I knew how to explain it, I would happily for all the people out there who are depressed and feel like they are being pulled under. Don't get me wrong, I have a bad day now and then. It's allowed. Terrible stuff happens and we are allowed to feel bad about it, the key for me is that I allow myself to feel bad for a moment, an hour, a day and then I get over it. Something inside me says "F this cancer, you totally will get through this and be stronger after".

Maybe in having to fight and work hard for everything, I don't see limits only possibilities. I appreciate things because I've worked for them. I wouldn't go back and change any of the good or bad things I have been through because those things have taught me so much. My experiences have added to the story of my life. It's like the Train song "These bruises make for better conversation"

Only The Positive People

Today I have my latest rant for you about unsupportive people. I have no place in my life for people who are trying to drag me down. I want positive people in my life and the people who are not, are being CUT!!!

"What got Brandy fired up?", you may ask.

Well, let me tell you!

My ex-husband called to speak with our son.  After they spoke, I chatted with him. I tried to share a few possible work directions I have going on in an attempt to be nice and social for my son's sake. For those of you who don't know me, I've been working from home for the past 3 years in Second Life and online.

As I was telling the ex about these work things he says,"You will do anything to not get a real job!"

A real job?!?! Like working from home is not a real job because I define my own schedule and don't have to punch a clock. Even more important to me is that I get to be here for my kids! Self employment isn't for everyone, but it works perfectly in my life.

 I hung up on him.

There have been other people in my life that have only served to drag me down too. I'm over it...those people are no longer welcome in my world. I'm the a supportive friend to people but it is very important that I feel supported by them too. Relationships should be give and take...not give give give till it hurts. The sort of people who never give back are just emotional vampires.

So from now on, only positive relationships for me. I'm not saying my friends have to be happy and cheery all the time, I know people have ups and downs and I will be there to support them. I just expect it to be a two way street. It's time for a spring cleaning! I'm not saying just dump people, but examine the relationship and see if it is one that is really healthy for you.

Having positive people in your life will make your days better. Period.

I have a few amazing supportive people in my life. They add so much richness to my day. Most of all my best friend, Seth. I've said it before but he is always there for me and I will always be there for him. Good and bad ... because that is real friendship.

He wrote this great song about friendship and being there for people.