breath life

Here is my grand thought for today. As I await my CT Scan results, I have thought about life and death and sickness and health. I have decided that we are all going to die someday, there really is no getting around it and none of us know when the moment of our death will be.

I want to live like I am dying. I want to embrace life and try to do all the things I want to do. I have cancer and still I am in the same boat as everyone else, I have no clue when I am going to die. I believe it will be closer to when I am 94 instead of next year but ultimately I have no clue.

I want to work hard every day and make it as full as I possibly can. I want to build my business successfully not to have new things but to have better moments. Having a success business will give me the means to have those moments. I want to be able to support my kids and be able to secure their future and at the same time, give them new experiences to help them develop as people.

So often I see people go through life thinking there is always a tomorrow. They can take that weekend away with their family in a few months. They can spend more time with their kids tomorrow. They can wait on life insurance because they are young yet.

NO... don't wait, do it NOW. Live like you are going to die and make the most of your life right now. Forget about possessions that you cannot take with you. Spend time with people you love. Build that business you have always wanted. Take that weekend away with your family. Spend the afternoon finger painting with your kids NOW. You cannot take that new car to the grave with you, but your friends and your family can have beautiful memories of time spent with them. Your kids can appreciate that you planned for their future even after you are gone.

Having cancer has given me a unique perspective on life. I love life and I want to live as long as possible but I want to live each day like it could be my last and appreciate everything life has to offer.

Take chances, make mistakes, find something you love to do.

Don't just have a life, LIVE. Breath life until the day you cannot breath anymore.

The Lost Art of Manners

It has come to my attention lately that the art of having manners seems to be somewhat lacking with a lot of people. Simple common courtesy seems to be overlooked more and more.

It's annoying at best when someone is late. You schedule a time to meet up with a friend for coffee, lunch, a shopping trip and you sit there waiting... and waiting...and waiting.

The person shows up about 30 minutes late with a "Sorry I'm late." and no more being said. You give a polite response of how it's not a big deal and continue on with whatever activity you planned. While inside you are irritated that your friend could not even bother with a call or a text to let you know they were running behind, stuck in traffic or otherwise detained.

People are late sometimes, it is inevitable. If this is the only time they are ever late, then it is definitely forgivable, annoying but forgivable. However, common courtesy should have told them to try to reach you in someway and let you know they will be late.

In a business situation, being late for a meeting can have bigger consequences than just annoying a friend. If you are late for a meeting, the person you are to be meeting with might move on and that can cost you dearly depending on the reason for the meeting. This goes for online as well as offline situations.

If you MUST be late... call, text, message... let them know somehow that you respect their time enough to let them know you are tied up and how late you are going to be. You might still miss the opportunity to meet with whomever are you meeting but at least that person will know you consider their time valuable. This shows you are a professional and might get the meeting rescheduled for you instead of a missed opportunity.

Sometimes The Answer Is No

I was inspired to write more about kids today. We all want our kids to have a better life than we had and for them to have every advantage possible. However, I think we need to be more realistic about what our kids actually NEED as opposed to WANT.

Our kids need our love, supervision, food, shelter, clothing and education. Those are very basic needs. I will even say that our kids need entertainment and friends. What is the point of working hard at school if they cannot also enjoy what life has to offer.

Then there are the wants and as a parent to 3 kids (2 of them teens), I can tell you, there is a LONG list of wants. Almost daily I hear from at least one of my kids, "Mom can you get me _________?" Fill in the blank with the latest toy, electronic or coolest clothing item.

As parents who love our kids, we don't want to see them denied the things they want but sometimes you have to say no.  For whatever reason, sometimes financial, sometimes to make our kids understand that they have to earn things or whatever your reason is, you have to reject their request.

I believe it is very good to say no to our kids when they ask for things. Especially if the item they want will cost more than $10. To some, $10 may not seem like much, to others it's a lot because they might be struggling financially. With the average American income being just over $47,000 a year, $10 here and there, adds up quickly. It might not even be a THING they want but it could be an outing that will cost more than $10. For those of various means, feel free to set the dollar amount at what is right for your family.

In saying no to something, a child will usually ask why. Take this opportunity to educate your children. Educate them on the costs of items and living expenses. It is easier to explain living expenses to older children but for the younger ones, use this chance to teach them about money and that just because you have a plastic card to slide through a machine, doesn't mean things are free.

Sometimes, you can deny your kid the latest gadget but give them a way to earn it. For the older kids, maybe something along the lines of... if I were to pay you $8 an hour (above the federal minimum wage of $7.25), how long would you have to work to earn what you want? For younger kids who wouldn't understand about minimum wage, you can tell them they have to do X to earn what they want (earn being the key word there).

In this way, you not only teach your kids about money and responsibility, you also give them a way that they can feel proud about earning what they want. It's very important to give kids the sense of self satisfaction of knowing they can do things and earn rewards.

Being a parent, I see kids all the time that have a huge sense of entitlement. They think that just because they exist that they deserve to be given what they want. I'm not saying this all lies in the hands of the parents, it also has to do with marketing to kids from companies.

What I would love to see is parents finding more ways to entertain kids for free or inexpensively.  Often there are community events that cost nothing or little to go to. Museums often have days that are free for city residents.

So I'm challenging you, if you have kids, to go right now and do some searching online or in the local newspaper to find things you can do with your kids that cost very little. In the end, it's not how much money we spend on the kids, it's how much love and time we can give them.

Sock Puppets and Quality Time

I have three children, ages 16,13 and 6 (girl, boy, boy), who are my heart and soul. I've been very fortunate to be able to work from home for the past 3 years, allowing me more time with my kids than someone who might work a more traditional job. My daily schedule allows for some flexibility for doctor appointments, being home with sick kids and being here when they get home from school. If you have the discipline to work from home, do it!

Van and the sock puppets we made.

I've always felt that kids have to grow up too fast. I've always tried to monitor what they are exposed to, so they don't have to grow up any quicker. I preview TV shows and movies, avoid toys that I think send the wrong message and have tried to raise my kids with the same old fashioned morals and values that my grandparents instilled in me.One of the lessons that is very important to me to impart on my kids, is that a good time doesn't have to cost a lot of money. I try to find things to do with the kids that are free or cheap and make it a lot of fun. 
Recently my youngest and I took old socks and a couple of dollars of googly eyes, colorful pipe cleaners and craft glue and made sock puppets. We didn't stop at just making them, we also gave them names and personalities. He was thrilled and played with the sock puppets for days.
He loves watching what I do on the computer. One thing I do with him sometimes is wear a dragon avatar in Second Life and let him fly around the sim. It is very entertaining for him and me but it also gives us time to bond over technology.
There are so many things you can do that takes more time than money! I really encourage you to just do a Google search for things like "Free Activities for Kids" or "Cheap Kids Projects". Put away the credit card and just spend time with your kid doing something fun. That is the thing they really want the most, your time.