Things A Cancer Patient Wants Friends and Family To Know

I thought it was time for me to write a list of things a cancer patient might want their friends and family to know  about their needs.

1. Often we are cold or hot, our bodies change often, please stop complaining if you live with us that

Electric Blanket

 it is too warm or cold for you. Our bodies are under a great deal of stress, please don't put us under mental stress by complaining. Just put on a sweater if you are cold or open a window in your bedroom if you are hot.

2. We do not know how we will feel day to day or even hour to hour, so if we make plans they should be considered tentative at best. Don't tell kids that we will be doing something because younger children have a harder time with plans that have to change the day of or before.

3. People say, "Let us know if there is anything I/we can do for you?". Generally we will say Thank You but never really ask for anything. It is not that we DON'T need something but we don't know how to ask with out feeling awkward. Better if you just do something, we will appreciate both what you do and not making us ask.  HERE is a link to a list of ideas for things that you could purchase for your friend or family member. Other helpful things are gift cards for gas, restaurants, Amazon, Netflix or a store card.

Don't ask, just do because if you wait for us to say something, you might be waiting a good long while! We really will appreciate the help, it is just hard sometimes to ask for it, especially for those who usually are the ones taking care of everyone else.

4. Unless you are someone who spends a lot of time with us and knows our culinary preferences and our family's tastes, don't send food. During cancer treatment, our taste buds can change and make everything horrible tasting or maybe even go away. We won't want to turn down the offer of food because we appreciate it, even if it isn't something we or the family would particularly like. I'm sure you would rather food get eaten, so your best bet is to maybe ask what our favorite snacks or beverage are and send those instead. Also, snacks are something we can take with us for those hours at chemo.

Spaghetti with Red Sauce

5. More about food... usually the doctors we are working with will give us a good general guideline of what they want us to focus on with our diet.  Some days, during treatment, it is all we can do to sip a beverage and maybe get down a few bites. Those few bites might be a corn dog, a lettuce wrap, some chips, a few veggies or whatever tastes okay at that moment. PLEASE, PLEASE I beg of you to not criticize or offer diet advice. We are getting dietary advice from god and everyone. We love the fact that you care enough to offer the advice but we get so much of it, that it becomes overwhelming.

6. Don't stop sharing your life with us. If you are someone who would talk to us about your crappy day before we got cancer, then tell us about it. If you are sick, feel free to share. Just because we have cancer and going through treatment, doesn't mean that your issues are not important to us. Also, listening to someone about their horrible boss or bratty kid or whatever will give us a mental break from our own problems. Much the same reason people watch drama filled talk shows.

Okay, that is all for now... part 2 might come later. If you are a cancer patient or survivor and have any suggestions for things you would love friends and family to know, feel free to email me (brandy) AT energysheep DOT com.

The Battle of Chemotherapy Part 3

Aside from the hair loss, there are other side effects that come with chemotherapy. They can vary by person and by which drug you are taking for your cancer. These are just the ones that I had and How I choose to deal with them.

I was tired from about day 2 after chemo. It was that kind of tired that was your whole being head to toe just really didn't want to do much. I often compare it to feeling like your body is walking through mud, that rather slow motion feeling that you just cannot shake. Around day 4 post treatment, It was more like walking through water, easier but still tired. About day 6 was when I was feeling much better. The only thing that helped a bit for me was stretching, getting up and stretching for about 10 minutes would give me just a bit of energy for a short period.

I still had kids to take care of an a life to live. So I just sucked it up and went to do what needed done. I was at the sporting goods store with my middle child shopping for running shoes, I went to get the same one a new cell phone and I had to get them things to start the school year. Somewhere inside me I just said "Screw you cancer, I have stuff to do." Then after running my errands, I would come home and nap.

Knowing my white blood count was low, I made sure to use the anti-bacterial wipes on shopping carts and carried some in my purse for stores with out them. I also tried to stay further away from other shoppers just in case anyone was out sick.

Another prominent side effect is nausea and vomiting. My doctors gave me 2 long acting meds, Zofran and Compazine and then later on a faster acting short term Ativan. These meds are a god send! I wasn't queezy often as long as I was taking them and I only vomited once when I had forgotten.

Food is another tricky subject. I didn't feel like eating much and when I did, it tasted funny or no taste at all for about 10 days after chemo. I ended up losing about 40 pounds. Everyone you know will offer you diet advice. GMO Free, Organic, Free Range, Gluten Free, Paleo, Vegan, etc etc etc etc. Just thank them for their thoughts and say something like "I will remember to discuss that with my doctor." You get sick of the advice but in your heart you know it comes from a place of wanting you to be healthy, so you deal with it. Then just eat the damn twinky or whatever you can manage to tolerate or might taste not wretched to your chemical filled taste buds. Healthy is always best but if corn dogs and pretzels (or whatever) is the only things that taste good or at least not horrible, go for it. Just get some calories in you in some form.

There are other random side effects that will change from person to person, you might have numbness or tingling in your fingers and/or toes. Yes chemo brain is a real thing. Some people lose finger and toe nails, I didn't lose mine but my finger nails developed ridges.

This is where I will leave off for now... stay tuned for the next battle story.

The First Battle: Hysterectomy

Since I started my adventure with Uterine (Endometrial) Cancer, I have tried to keep a positive attitude. I have been posting on Facebook but I wanted to write something a bit more here.

After my OB/Gyn told me that I have cancer, I didn't panic or cry or get very upset. My first reaction was more of one of "time to rally the troops and win another battle". I never once considered that I might die, that was just not a thought I was willing to embrace. I was ready to fight and win.

I had to have a complete hysterectomy which was performed by my Gyn Oncologist, Dr. Byler Dann, at St. Francis Medical. She used the da Vinci Robot which is minimally invasive. I only ended up with 5 small incisions that were each one inch long. 

After surgery I was a little sore but minimal pain, this was a Friday. I didn't even bother with pain killers. I took ibuprofen 800mg and was up and moving the night of surgery. I was moving slower and had just a little pain when moving from sitting down to standing but nothing unbearable. However, by 9 pm after my 1:30 pm surgery, I had the IV out and put on my own clothes and makeup and was ready to go home the next morning.

I never wanted it to stop me. While I had to slow down, I refused to stop. No time for a pitty party, no need to fuss, just keep moving forward. 

My daughter, Sam, was around to help me with carrying laundry up and down stairs but I still did the laundry myself. On Monday I needed to get out of the house and decided to drive to the store. I was careful while I was there and used one of the electric wheelchairs so I wouldn't overdue it but it felt great to be out and about. I felt strong, I felt like I was winning this first battle.

Come back next week for post 2 and more of my journey.