Finding The RIGHT One In SL or RL

Last night I posted this on Facebook:

A friend and I were talking about the subject of dating tonight and he said to me...

"So you dream big, and won't let yourself be side tracked by anything or anyone that is not going to advance your dream"

My response to that was "I'm very driven and I want to be with someone who wants to be part of my dream"

The more I think about it... the more I am sure that is accurate... if the person we are with is the right person, they will share in our hopes and dreams and help us work towards achieving them!

I felt the need to expand upon this because it really has stirred something inside me... I guess it stirred up some anger. There are always going to be compromises in relationships, where to eat, what movie to watch, what car to purchase, but not your life's dreams and goals!

I work full time in Second Life as my career, therefore, 95% of the time I spend in SL is for work purposes. That being said, I also have wonderful friends in Second Life that I could just not do with out. The friends I speak to the most are the friends I also work with like Seth Regan (known in SL as Mankind Tracer), my best friend, who is my business partner and the musician I manage. Often times we will be talking about work or music and also life, kids, books etc. The friends I don't work with, I just am not able to keep up with as much, but I know most understand that while I may be logged into SL, it is not for recreation and when I have a moment here or there, I do message them or join them at a concert. They also know that they can message me because I have mad multitasking skills and can chat in IM with them while I have 4 or 5 IMs going. Response time might be a little slower but that is just how it is.

For the people who do not understand, I only offer you this.... if I had a tradition job, would you be upset if I couldn't talk often while I was at work?

My Second Life is far from typical and I don't expect everyone to “get it” but I do expect to be respected.

If someone wants to be part of my life in a dating capacity, I want them to be proud of the fact that I am driven and goal oriented. If they do not share my goals, I expect them to be supportive in the very least and understand that this is who I am and what I do. Just as I would be supportive of their career and help them any way possible. We should all expect this because if the person we are dating cannot be supportive or helpful in achieving our goals, who will be????

Sometimes you have to face facts that you and the person you are dating want different things and that is okay. I would rather know early on that the paths chosen for life do not match and be able to be friends than frustrate each other trying to make things work. I know I sure don't need the stress of that in my life.

I know people who are so in a hurry to find love that they lose sight of the fact that they need to find the RIGHT person to love. Love is not a race and you will not die from being alone. Take your time and let the right person find you. Cultivate healthy friendships that can give you companionship. This goes for Second Life and real life. I also, firmly believe that the very best relationships have great friendship as the foundation, so take time to get to know someone and find out if you even want the same things in life.

In Second Life we have the opportunity to meet and interact with people from all over which is great, however, those people also have a chance to hide behind an avatar and put their “best face forward”. It is even more important to get to know someone you are dating very well in SL. I encourage everyone to use voice or even webcam and Google search their name and before you meet in real life spend the money to do a back ground check. You can never be too cautious!

I guess what this all boils down to is, that if the person is the RIGHT person, SL or RL, they will be supportive of your dreams and want to be part of them, not try to derail them. Sometimes dreams and goals will change as you change and that is fine but your significant other should still be supportive and flexible.